Esfj dating

analytical, conceptual and objective

2008.11.21 12:50 analytical, conceptual and objective

For those who score INTJ on MBTI tests. Check the [/INTJ rules](/intj/about/rules/) and the [FAQ](/intj/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q.) before posting.
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2015.03.12 09:01 DeanKeaton r/MBTIDating - Certain Personalities Work Well Together

Certain personalities work well together, but you knew that already, didn't you? /MBTIDating is a R4R style personals and dating advice subreddit for the 16 Myers-Briggs (MBTI) personality types.
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2012.10.16 20:29 ESFP: The Performer

【𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐛 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲𝐞𝐫𝐬-𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐬 𝐄𝐒𝐅𝐏𝐬 (𝐒𝐞 - 𝐅𝐢 - 𝐓𝐞 - 𝐍𝐢) ---- 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 ✨ 】
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2020.12.02 18:06 alonelyballoon Just another Type Me post

Hi, I'm not too sure about my type, so I'd like to hear y'alls input.
if this somehow helps, my tritype is 369 (3w4, 6w5, 9w1).
Tyvm.
  1. Describe yourself in as much elaborate detail as possible (that still renders you anonymous, or to a level of acceptable comfort)
I'm 17 and a trans guy.
Personality wise, I'd say I'm reserved, serious, quiet, perfectionistic and a bit of a workaholic.
Some of my hobbies include reading, watching funny danganronpa videos, listening to music, playing video games and writing.
  1. Why are you interested in knowing your type?
I keep getting different types on different cognitive functions test, so I'm kind of confused + I'd like to understand myself better.
  1. Do you go to work and/or you in school? If so, what field/occupation/subjects?
I'm currently a senior in high school doing online school. My favorite subject is ELA, and my least favorite is History because I suck at remembering small details. I can pretty much remember the general idea yknow, but details like names dates etc throw me off.
Ever since I was like 12, I've been obsessed with becoming a forensic psychologist, so I've planned on going to an in-state university next year and getting a psyd degree in forensic psychology.
  1. Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
Yea, it had a religious influence. My ESFJ mom was very religious and close minded, so she tried forcing her religion on me. I rebelled against it at first, but it never changed anything, so I just started to accept it throughout the years.
My ISXP dad was very unavaible even though he was physically present.
  1. How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about?
I'm pretty curious about everything honestly. I don't have more ideas than I can execute. I'd say I have too few ideas actually, but when I do get one, I execute on it if I consider it practical and realistic but interesting.
  1. Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Who doesn't?
7.If money was not an issue, what careejob would you have?
A forensic psychologist as well. As I said, it's been my dream job ever since I was 12.
8.Are you a free spirit or do you play by the rules? If so, why?
I only play by the rules if they are there to protect my physical health or to keep the enviroment in control. I'm not afraid to break rules I consider pointless.
  1. If I asked you to take a shot with a football how would that make you feel? Would you be able to do it well? Would you enjoy it?
I mean, I'd feel indifferent. I probably wouldn't be able to do it well because I'm physically weak, and i have poor eye-hand coordination 😿
  1. If I asked you to write me an essay, would you enjoy it? What would it be about? How would it make you feel?
Yep, I love writing so I'd definently enjoy it. Hmm, it will probably be about a crime I found interesting or about a book I like.
  1. How do you behave around strangers, acquaintances and friends?
Around strangers, I just don't say anything. I prefer silence over small talk. I'm polite around them though.
Around acquaintances, I'm pretty nonchalant as well. I tend to be more of a listener than a talker with them.
Around friends, I'm pretty loud and the opposite of my boring and serious demeanor.
  1. Do you put things back in their proper place?
Nope. I know where everything is though, so it's fine.
  1. Do you have exquisite tastes that you would expend effort or money for?
Yea, I'm attracted to the finer things in life, and I'd be willing to spend money on it in the future.
  1. How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I help them most of the times because, well, why not?
  1. How long do you take to make an important decision? How would you go about it? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I'm a very decisive person, so I'd say it wouldn't take long. I'd first think about which is the most logical and efficient option, and if it'll be good for my future. I'm a pretty stubborn person, so no I probably wouldn't change my mind.
  1. If I asked you to design a plan of action, would it be easier to work alone or in a group? Do you ask for others opinion? or stick to your own guns?
It'll be easier to work alone honestly. I tend to stick to my own guns and don't really ask for other's opinions.
  1. My biggest fears are ...
  1. How much do you express yourself and what mediums do you do that through? Art? Writing? Talking?
I rarely express myself, and if I do, it's usually through journaling or poetry. I find it easier to understand my feelings when they're written down yknow.
  1. Is it okay to crack a few eggs? If it makes an omelette? Do the ends justify the means?
It depends on the scenario honestly.
  1. Does it matter if something is factually correct for you to believe in it?
Of course, but I don't mind believing things that aren't factually correct just for fun.
  1. Are emotions/feelings an important aspect of your life? If so, then why?
Hmm, it depends. I am diagnosed with BPD, so in a way they are, but I don't let them affect my demeanor or my decisions. I'm an emotional mess in private though.
  1. How attached are you to reality?
Not much, I'm daydreaming most of the times. I'm only attached to reality when it comes to important matters, like my education, and even then I find myself daydreaming as well.
  1. How thick skinned are you? Are you sensitive to criticism?
I'm not a very thick skinned person when it comes to people critizing me in general, but I pretend it doesn't affect me. i'm not sensitive to critism about my work.
submitted by alonelyballoon to WhatsmyMBTI [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 21:19 Nick--Bottom Help needed with an ESFJ friendship

I'm an INFP and I'm having trouble with an ESFJ friend. Basically I'm not sure what he really thinks of me or if he's actually interested in being my friend, and I don't know if it's a good idea to try and bring up my issues to him or to just give up on the friendship. I find him agreeable to a fault, he's nice, but I've seen him turn against someone due to unverified gossip (it was a girl he dated, a mutual friend who is also INFP), and I know several people have gossiped about me to him. He said he defended me, but he only told me about it after I had found out from other people.
We've never had a real heart-to-heart conversation or even hung out one on one, I've tried a few times, I've even tried asking if he plays any video games we could play online, he plays League of Legends, but it never panned out. Despite that, he told his current girlfriend that he and I were best friends, which is one reason I believe he might not actually be a genuine friend. Since the pandemic started we've only seen each other once, at a mutual friend's birthday party. He spends most of his time with the girls he dates, but I also know he's hung out with other guys as well.
When we met last year, I was in a very low point in my life, and I don't know if he realizes how much my personal issues affected my demeanor, and how much more there is to me when I'm in a healthier mindset (like I am now). I feel like he might've already made up his mind about me and decided that I'm not socially worth it. I've kind of already given up on him, though I don't necessarily want to. Do you think I could talk to him about how I feel, and if so, how should I word it? Thanks for reading.
submitted by Nick--Bottom to ESFJ [link] [comments]


2020.11.13 21:21 furbiiii ESFJ x INFJ pairing

Hello all!
I (f21) am an ESFJ dating my partner (m27) who is an INFJ. I’ve always loved INFJs and felt a special connection to them, as this isn’t my first INFJ relationship (coincidence, I swear!). Does anyone have any experience with this pairing or insight they can give me? And maybe vice versa? DMs open. :)
submitted by furbiiii to MBTIDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.12 00:12 cresceaparece MBTI as Tiffany "New York" Pollard Moments/Quotes

*disclaimer: These were, mostly, moments from Flavor of Love, a reality tv show in which a bunch of women would fight for Flavor Flav's (the rapper) love. So you'll see his name hanging in these quotes.
*disclaimer: Deelishis, Krazy and all of these names refer to other fellow contestants on the same show she was first featured. Have in mind these are not their real names, for there was a nickname for each one fo them.

ENTJ: "I don't need you to be a puppet, i just need you to live under me and fall under my tutelage and my leadership"

INTJ: "I am so powerful. My mind... Urgh... It amazes me sometimes."

ENTP: "I must say: Deelishis's mom... She's an innovator. I never knew, in a million years, that a HUMAN could SPROUT PLASTIC HAIR!!! Is she from another planet? I don't know... But there is PLASTIC HAIR! *claps\* Kudoooos!!

INTP: "Everyone speaks their f* mind, where do you think the ideas come from, their ass?"

ENFJ: " - I did not say she was 'uneducated'... Did i say she was 'uneducated'?
- You said 'ignorant'.
- But that's not une-... Well, yeah it is ;)"

INFJ: "She thinks that... We're frieeends (...) You know, after i'm done of - basically - using her and riding her brain she's gonna give me this big bear hug like we're friends." The girl in question actually gave her this huge bear hug and leaves saying "GURL, I NEEDED THIS TALK".

ENFP: *Spends a whole lot of time arguing with Deelishis to delay her dress-up for a date* "Did i or did i not... Just f-d up your date? HAHAHA" *Leaves the room jumping and laughing like a child going to chuck n' cheese*

INFP: "So if i'm acting like a baby or a brat... SO BE IT! I'm gonna get (the objective she made herself a baby/brat for)"

ESTJ: "When i tell you to walk your ass down the hall with your sh*... You're gonna do, so."

ISTJ: \another participant was singing in the house... Very badly, tbh** "I was upstairs, trying to get my beauty sleep, and then all of i sudden i hear this noise... Like a freaking cat being strangled."

ESTP: "Who is 'Beautiful'? Does she live up to the name?"

ISTP: "You know what? *lights a cigarette* I asks the questions here."

ESFJ: "She's telling Flav that i'm an aspiring actress... WHICH I AM! But i've been real to Flav the whole time."

ISFJ: "Hottie comes down the stairs with this big red cape on, she wound up looking like the devil himself.... I mean, do you know where we're going? It's the house of the Lord, have some respect..."

ISFP: "I don't give a f*! Do i look like i give a f*? Cause i don't!" Not far from that moment she was at the car crying her ass off.

ESFP: "Your eyes ain't playing tricks, honey, this is mad love right here!"
edit: space
submitted by cresceaparece to shittyMBTI [link] [comments]


2020.11.09 08:57 Aromatic-Stick5427 INFJ Dating an ESFJ? Relationship Compatibility?

Going through an extremely rough patch with my ESFJ gf (only 8 months dating) and I want to know what experience other people might have when having intimate relationships with ESFJ typed people.
I find her a tad emotionally and affectionately demanding, and she has been very vocal about how it seems to her that “she loves me more than I love her.” I’m biased of course, but I try to give multiple nights a week to spending time with her and I’m always trying to make the most of that time Im with her. She seems much more interested in random, large acts of romance rather than my consistent devotion of time.
I’m also a little frustrated that she can’t seem to take criticism without taking it as an insult to her character. It might not even be criticism, rather I just voiced how something she did made me feel, and she gets passive aggressive and upset.
I’m sorry i got off on a lot of detail and rambled, but Im really wanting some honest relationship advice abt INFJ - ESFJ. General or specific to me, doesn’t matter. Thanks everyone :)
submitted by Aromatic-Stick5427 to infj [link] [comments]


2020.11.06 13:43 DeepblueStarlight Characters personality types?

Hi! I’m wondering what other people think the character’s MBTI types from this show are.
Main Characters
“Mike” Warren (INTJ-T)
I’ve seen him typed as an ISTJ somewhere, and I could see that because he starts out very rule following and wants to follow through with his commitments. For example, he doesn’t get the point of not dating for real and hates lying to his girlfriend. But I think INTJ fits him better because all of the above still fits an INTJ but he is led by Ni throughout the entire show. S1, he plays cat and mouse with Briggs and finds out about his heroin addiction and secret identity as Odin which he’d kept a secret for years from a house full of agents. S2, he is sure about the drug busses and the connections between 3 bad guys despite lacking concrete evidence at first. S3 he “comes back from the dead” and tries to understand what he saw/dreamed while dead and his new path.Those are the main themes of each season that seem incredibly Ni focused to me.
Paul Briggs (ENTJ-A)
“Charlie” Demarco (ISTP-A)
“Johnny” Tuturro (ESFP-T)
Page Arkin (ESFJ-A)
Dale “Jakes” (INTP-T)
Recurring Characters
Jeremiah Bello (ESFJ-?)
Whistler (xNTP-T)
Juan Badillo (IxTJ-A)
Jangles (Exxx-A) maybe ESTP
Carlos Solano (ExTJ-A)
Carlito Solano Jr. (ESTP-T)
Lucia Solano (INFJ-?)
Sid Markham (ISFP-?)
Kelly Badillo (INFP-T)
Zelanski (ExTP-?)
Sean Logan (ESTJ-A)
Your thoughts? Do you agree/disagree with how I’ve typed certain characters? Why? I’d love to start a discussion.
I just posted this on MBTI but it might fit better here, I’m really not sure since there’s not much action on this sub. Anyway, I’d love to discuss the characters and hear your thoughts!
submitted by DeepblueStarlight to Graceland [link] [comments]


2020.11.06 12:50 DeepblueStarlight Graceland characters’ MBTI types?

Hi! I’m wondering what other people think the characters’ MBTI types from this show are.
Main Characters
“Mike” Warren (INTJ-T)
I’ve seen him typed as an ISTJ somewhere, and I could see that because he starts out very rule following and wants to follow through with his commitments. For example, he doesn’t get the point of not dating for real and hates lying to his girlfriend. But I think INTJ fits him better because all of the above still fits an INTJ but he is led by Ni throughout the entire show. S1, he plays cat and mouse with Briggs and finds out about his heroin addiction and secret identity as Odin which he’d kept a secret for years from a house full of agents. S2, he is sure about the drug busses and the connections between 3 bad guys despite lacking concrete evidence at first. S3 he “comes back from the dead” and tries to understand what he saw/dreamed while dead and his new path.Those are the main themes of each season that seem incredibly Ni focused to me.
Paul Briggs (ENTJ-A)
“Charlie” Demarco (ISTP-A)
“Johnny” Tuturro (ESFP-T)
Page Arkin (ESFJ-A)
Dale “Jakes” (INTP-T)
Recurring Characters
Jeremiah Bello (ESFJ-?)
Whistler (xNTP-T)
Juan Badillo (IxTJ-A)
Jangles (Exxx-A) maybe ESTP
Carlos Solano (ExTJ-A)
Carlito Solano Jr. (ESTP-T)
Lucia Solano (INFJ-?)
Sid Markham (ISFP-?)
Kelly Badillo (INFP-T)
Zelanski (ExTP-?)
Sean Logan (ESTJ-A)
If you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend watching it. I loved the first season, but things go down hill and season 3 is darker and less focused IMO.
Your thoughts? Do you agree/disagree with how I’ve typed certain characters? Why? I’d love to start a discussion.
submitted by DeepblueStarlight to mbti [link] [comments]


2020.11.05 01:41 Vacillating_Vanity Analysis Paralysis - Possible to Speed Up the Mind?

I'm very impressed with Ben Shapiro's mental agility* (edited), who as an INTJ seems to be the quickest on his feet of any INTJ I've seen. Maybe it's because he's INTJ-A and doesn't give a shit how everything lands. As an INTJ-T I tend to be much more deliberate about everything I do.
The reason I wrote this post: do you know any ways to speed up the time to take action / make good decisions real-time?
TWO AXIS
There are two axis to myers briggs -> the "observers" and the "action takers". I'm sure there are better names for the two groups.
Observers: Intuition/Sensor dominants (INTJ, INFJ, ENTP, ENFP; ESFP, ESTP, ISFJ, ISTJ)
Action Takers: ThinkeFeeler doms (ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFP, INFP; ENTJ, ESTJ, INTP, ISTP)
As an Observer, the analysis to life is much simpler than the actions that might come as a result of the analysis. In other words: my worldview, my ability to draw conclusions, my ability to understand is optimized. But fuck if it takes me awhile to figure out what to do with it.
I find the opposite with the Action Takers: they know how to be effective with their actions, even if they are not always worried about perfect analysis/understanding of a situation. They rely heavily on their emotions or logic and very congruent in that. It's pretty impressive for someone who isn't wired that way.
What Prompted This
I struggle to give clear direction & answers in real-time with people. I prefer to spend time deliberating before coming to the best response/action/etc. And it can lead to paralysis.
This is as true for my company and how I deal with my employees, as it is on dates when it takes me awhile to know how/when to take proper action.
As an aside, I used to spend hundreds, thousands of hours solving puzzles, reading, etc. and pumping up my ability to analyze. But I never spent the time trying to build up this action-taking muscle.
submitted by Vacillating_Vanity to intj [link] [comments]


2020.11.03 22:36 nightfire00 A "not like other girls" for each type.

ISTJ: "Not every girl likes to go out, party, and get shitfaced all the time. Most girls do, but there are still the girls who follow the rules, don't drink, don't smoke, and just like to read. I go to church every Sunday, and I don't sleep around unlike these stupid sluts. I dress modestly and I actually have some self respect. I know how to cook, clean, and keep a good home because I was taught to provide value to a man's life and not be a leech. Yes, I'm a girl and I still exist."
ISFJ: "I'm not like all these other girls here, I will take care of you when the girl you're dating cant. I will be there to comfort you when she won't. But nobody ever notices me, I guess nice girls just aren't appreciated anymore. I tell myself I shouldn't care about you, cause all I ever get is walked over and hurt, but I can't help it."
INFJ: "Am I the only girl who doesn't thrive off of drama? Lol. I promote harmony in my circle, and I want to lift my friends and relationships up, not drag them down for my own amusement. Other girls can be so selfish nowadays. Pettiness is celebrated as the standard on social media. I guess this generation is not following the vision I see, one of selflessness and connection."
INTJ: "All these other girls are lacking in intelligence and judgement. All they care about is getting wasted and acting slutty, only living in the moment. Meanwhile, I am looking after my future by making responsible choices in the present. One day these inferior males will realize, when they are stuck with their leech of a wife, that they would have done better to have a future oriented, intelligent woman like me."
INTP: "Haha I'm so quirky guys. Other girls may enjoy going on Instagram and snapchat, posting selfies with generic quotes that they can't even properly analyze or appreciate (unlike me who can analyze anything), but I would rather spend all my time on Wikipedia, reading random articles at 3AM and become an expert on said topics. Because going out on a Friday night does not even compare to the fun I can have without other people."
INFP: "All other girls are is fake. They are fake in their appearance, enhancing it with artificial tans, nails, and hair extensions. They are fake in their actions too, judging their friends behind their back and manipulating their boyfriends. Not me though, I'm always true and authentic to myself. Sigh, I'm just sad that no one appreciates true authentic girls like me. Boys only care about a pretty face. It just really says something about society, ya know?"
ISFP: "Other girls always have a smile on their face, at least whenever I see them post about their fake lives on social media. They can project that image all they want to get approval, but I'm sad, and I'm not going to hide it. Instead, I post artsy black and white photos about how sad I am on my tumblr because I'm not like other girls. I can't just be happy, I'll always be misunderstood and alone~"
ISTP: "Am I the only girl that doesn't need a man to do everything for them? Other girls are always so reliant on other people. Men pay, men fix their cars, men build their shitty IKEA furniture. I pull my own weight in a relationship. But I guess because I'm more focused on practicality and less about beauty and playing dumb, men don't appreciate me. Screw em, I don't need em anyways."
ESTP: "I am the girl that's not afraid to do what other girls won't do. Yeah, I drive a motorcycle, and my car is probably faster than yours. Does that intimidate you? Men will realize that I'm superior to you other girls in every way, because I think like a dude, and I act like a dude. I am straightforward and no bullshit, unlike these other passive aggressive bitches."
ESFP: "Im that crazy girl that the other girls always warn you about. I don't follow the rules, I smoke, I drink, hell I can probably out drink you. I have tattoos and dyed hair, I'd probably burn if I walked into a church, lol. I may be cute, but I'm crazy and I have tons of issues, so don't mess around with me, stay on my good side and I'll treat you well <3 but get on my bad side and I will fuck you up."
ENFP: "Haha I'm not a normal girl uwu so if you aren't normal either we will probably vibe well together. I don't like to talk about partying, makeup, or cute boys, yet I will literally talk about anything, tehe. I just wanna like, listen to music at 2AM and sit under the stars, talking about aliens and stuff because no one else does that! I also love to go on random adventures cause I'm just so random and quirky! People gravitate towards me because I'm always up for anything, unlike these stuck up girls that never wanna take risks! It's also cause I stand out in a crowd ALWAYS! I have bright hair that's dyed a buncha rainbow colors but I'm also considering dying it pink and also..."
ENTP: "Unlike other girls, I really don't care about being politically correct. Did I offend you?? GOOD. Maybe I can make you reconsider the world as you currently see it. Why were you offended? Are you actually using your brain now? I will make you uncomfortable. Unlike other girls, I like dark humor and I like to go on /pol and argue. Lol I bet other girls don't even know what /pol is. They are too scared to confront what they don't know, so they just stick to the same old stupid topics like whatever is hot on netflix right now."
ENTJ: "Aw other girls are out partying tonight? Lol, cute. Meanwhile, it's another late night at work for me, but I don't mind cause I'm actually building my future. I don't need a man to be rich, I can actually do it myself thanks! I can take control of my own situation, leading people and rising to the top. Because I'm such a dominant person (unlike most girls) I have no doubt in my mind that I will see more success than 100% of these bitches."
ENFJ: "Im not your average girl, I'm always in it for the long term. Im just so dedicated to people, it's ridiculous. I never cheat, I don't just leave my man for the next hot guy that passes by. I am committed to seeing him reach his goals and I'll be the one dedicated to making it happen. But other girls are ok with just walking all over a man.... Sigh."
ESFJ: "YES I'm a girl, and YES I still believe in traditional values! Everyone is glorifying these girls destroying their bodies with piercings and tattoos, dominating "manly" career fields, and vilifying those of us who actually want to be house wives! Like sorry sweetie, I'm a very feminine woman who genuinely enjoys cooking and cleaning and looking pretty. I also love hosting parties, I love people (which they also vilify)! Maybe if you all would follow in that example, it could actually help you secure a happy marriage and family!"
ESTJ: "You may think all girls are stupid little things guided by their emotions, but I'm different. I don't flip out on a whim over stupid shit, and I certainly don't let morality get in the way of my decisions. In fact, I'm a sociopath, I genuinely don't care about other people. I look at the facts and figures and I'll make my decisions from there. So unlike other girls, I'm not gonna break my back to make you happy."
submitted by nightfire00 to shittyMBTI [link] [comments]


2020.11.01 19:59 oqowa How to get over the breakup I initiated? How not to feel guilty?

Hey guys, so this is me again with the follow-up on my previous thread (apologies if you’re sick of my story). So quick recap: as I mentioned before, I finally broke up with the ESFJ girl (after 2 attempts), and it has been a month and I still sometimes think of her. (We’re still friends on FB and we work in the same office building but different floors, I rarely see her).
I really want to be able to put my feelings aside and think rationally but during my thought process, occasionally questions came to my mind like: “what if she was the one?” (don’t really have solid arguments to think she was), “what if any other girls I might date in future won’t be any better than her?”(in terms of things that made me break up with her), “what if I made a mistake?”, “did I make a right decision?” and etc.
Briefly speaking, I’ve tried to analyze why I feel sad after breakup (even though I initiated it) and came to conclusion that I feel sad due to these 2 things: 1) I feel guilty thinking that I wasted her time, mislead her and she is 27, she might be rushing to get married. Now she has to start over and if she got really hurt then healing would take quite some time. 2) Constant verification of reality in my mind: did I make a right decision? What if I got smth wrong? What if things I worried about are not a big deal? What if any other girl I might meet/date in future is not any better and will have the same things that made me break up with my ex? 3) Not being able so far to meet a good girl attractive enough (attractive as her)—I guess this makes me feel like I missed my chance.
I guess if I could solve at least 2 of these problems, I’d get rid of this feeling of sadness.
Honestly speaking, for the last 2-3 days, while having these thoughts, I was constantly thinking “maybe I should get back with her?”. I guess I just forgot the reasons why I broke up with her. That’s why, just before posting this here, I’ve actually started making a list of moments that I considered as “red flags” during our relationship—and that kinda made me feel a bit better. But recalling the relationship has both good and bad sides: on one hand I was able to recall the things that made me frustrated/upset about her, on the other hand, I might recall good things which might make me sad again.
So, what do you guys think? Is it normal that I feel sad after 1 mo of breakup? How come that I forgot things that made me break up with her? Is it because I made the decision and those red flags became irrelevant for my mind? :) What should I do to completely move on and forget her and not even think about the possibility of getting back with her?
submitted by oqowa to intj [link] [comments]


2020.11.01 17:59 Kurumi_Ryori hiii i found some charts that maybe useful? idk


Function Position Adaptive Natural Unhealthy
Si (standardizing) Dominant Focused / Disciplined Conventional Closed / Limited
Auxiliary Careful / Thorough Proper Fussy / Overcautious
Tertiary Detailed / Practical Nitpicky Constrained / Stagnant
Inferior Attentive / Sensible Clumsy Fixated / Frenetic
Se (immersion) Dominant Audacious / Energetic Spontaneous Careless / Impetuous
Auxiliary Positive / Easygoing Evasive Rebellious / Indolent
Tertiary Adaptive / Realistic Reactive Hasty / Pushy
Inferior Pragmatic / At Ease Disconnected Self-Indulgent / Extreme
Ni (metaperspective) Dominant Perceptive / Insightful Idealistic Insular / Presumptuous
Auxiliary Introspective / Purposeful Unnuanced Smug / Fickle
Tertiary Inquisitive / Clever Simplistic Negative / Distrustful
Inferior Sharp / Enterprising Superficial Gloomy / Paranoid
Ne (emergent patterns) Dominant Optimistic / Inventive Malleable Frivolous / Unrealistic
Auxillary Imaginative / Creative Speculative Doubting / Bleak
Tertiary Hopeful / Adventurous Resistant Irrational / Unfocused
Inferior Open/ Resourceful Reluctant Troubled / Erratic
Ti (framework) Dominant Systematic / Precise Critical Reductive / Arrogant
Auxiliary Investigative / Analytical Tentative Dismissive / Egotistical
Tertiary Reasonable / Capable Irresolute Guarded / Fault-Finding
Inferior Consistent / Judicious Naïve Calculating / Censorious
Te (progress) Dominant Factual/Effectual Tenacious Inflexible/ Overbearing
Auxiliary Planful/ Competent Stringent Feeable/ Rationalizing
Tertiary Responsible / Productive Impatient Willful / Aggressive
Inferior Assertive / Organized Passive Obstinate / Harsh
Fi (valuing) Dominant Authentic / Empathetic Fluctuating Moody / Self-Absorbed
Auxiliary Passionate / Compassionate Restless Volatile / Desperate
Tertiary Caring / Loyal Peevish Judgmental / Moralizing
Inferior Principled / Tactful Unreflective Dogmatic / Repressed
Fe (connecting) Dominant Generous/ Welcoming Accommodating Insecure / Inauthentic
Auxiliary Sympathetic / Nurturing Sensitive Needy / Uptight
Tertiary Charming / Affectionate Equivocating Manipulative / Mercurial
Inferior Trusting / Helpful Indifferent Cynical / Temperamental

1 2
Hunger for Identity, Meaning and Significance Having a course of action to follow
Hunger for responsibility, accountability and predictability Getting the best result possible
Hunger for precision, in thought and language Getting things fulfilled through people
Hunger for impact and results Persuading and involving others

Type Multiplication
INFJ 1 a x 2 a
INFP 1 a x 2 b
ENFJ 1 a x 2 c
ENFP 1 a x 2 d
ISTJ 1 b x 2 a
ISFJ 1 b x 2 b
ESTJ 1 b x 2 c
ESFJ 1 b x 2 d
INTJ 1 c x 2 a
INTP 1 c x 2 b
ENTJ 1 c x 2 c
ENTP 1 c x 2 d
ISTP 1 d x 2 a
ISFP 1 d x 2 b
ESTP 1 d x 2 c
ESFP 1 d x 2 d

Shadow Positive Negative
5th Te Order on recognized principles Stubborn on how things are organized, insist on systematic approach
6th Te Bring order out of chaos Rebel against structure and schedules, critical about disorder, illogic and inefficiency
7th Te Delight in systemizing or planning Misguide all when organizing more efficient operation, spend unnecessary time establishing order
8th Te Organize to meet other need's Over-organize to please others and neglect duties, make subjective idiosyncratic logical arguments, lash out others' values rather than stay in dialog
5th Ti See which principle is best for a given situation Stubborn about adopted models and principles, categorize everything simplistically and robotically
6th Ti See how models fit situations and problems Not articulate operating principles, be stuck in adopted models and frameworks
7th Ti Delight in exploring frameworks Not interested in principles or categorizing, rigidly following selected principles that guarantee something, believe something that is contradictory or illogical
8th Ti Realize what universal principles transform lives Not concerned with definitions and logical consistency, catch up with pointing other inconsistencies, miss distinctions between principles, adopt one
5th Fe Good at accommodating others Stubborn about how others affect them resist being responsible for others' feelings and choices
6th Fe Connect with the group Expectations for group lead to the break-up of them
7th Fe Delight in connecting with others Disregard others' opinions, over-address others' concerns, disappoint by a false sense of closeness
8th Fe Adjust to others in ways that transform lives Not concerned with how others feel about them, be abrupt when possible self-exposure, over-accommodate others when fear of rejection
5th Fi Know what is worth fighting for to set right the world Stubborn about values when crusade for a cause, turn off people instead of mobilizing action
6th Fi Know what is really important and bring it out Get stuck in beliefs, get critical or feel paralyzed; lock into personal wants, bulldozing others
7th Fi Delight in exploring belief systems Not interested in beliefs, rigidly follow a belief system under stress
8th Fi Realize what universal value will transform lives Slow to choose what is important; misjudge the relative importance of things, spend time and money on undoing
5th Se See what is really is Stubborn about direction of a single impulse, insist on accurate read of current situation
6th Se Point out realities to make things more realistic Insist on the experienced facts and block others
7th Se Take delight in noticing and experiencing the physical Fool all on a misguided focus of a situation, take impulsive action
8th Se Know what is tangible to transform lives Get stuck in a binge of being in a physical moment, seek stimulation, following urge to sleep or nothing, zero in isolated details, act chaotically and disjointed
5th Si Provide information about how things have been Stubborn about how things once were in recollection
6th Si Use past mistakes to improve tactics Not focus on the past, make judgements due to negative past performances
7th Si Take delight in reviewing the past Cling to what they are used to, fret about insecurity and seek for predictability
8th Si Know what things have always transformed lives Ignore the past and lack a storehouse of data, get stuck in impressions of how things were, waste time reviewing the impact of the past
5th Ne Read trends with multiple interpretations Stubborn about responding to emerging information, lock onto a hidden meaning
6th Ne Know what is really going on in a situation Make off-base inferences that stop communication, counter growth
7th Ne Delight in playing with unlikely scenarios Ignore subtleties not tied to real date, attribute ill intent to interpret situations
8th Ne Interpret what will transform situations Over read what is between the lines, attribute negative intentions where there are none
5th Ni See profound insights into future trends Stubborn about how future will be, lock into a vision of something not happening
6th Ni Nebulous but strong positive vision of direction Negative thoughts for the future
7th Ni Delight in wise foresight and symbolism Envision opportunity that will not work out, foresee disaster or nothing at all
8th Ni See universal symbols/foresights that transform lives Do not see beyond what they've experienced, resist transformational change, make dire situations, misguided by deep symbolism

Function Slot Strength
1st 100-200%, 50% when ill
2nd 80-150%
3rd 20%-100%, inhibits 2nd at 100%
4th 0-50%
5th 0-30%
6th 10-100%
7th 0-20% for relaxing
8th 0-30%, supercharged to 200% on extreme stress
https://i.imgur.com/PBLsaIx.png
https://i.redd.it/maf3kzgm2km51.jpg
submitted by Kurumi_Ryori to WhatsmyMBTI [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 20:19 pwnfulcow Experience dating other types? Particularly sensors?

Hello fellow ENFPs,
Just looking for a general discussion/ experiences you have had dating other types.
My first and by far most serious romantic relationship was with a lovely ESFP. He was able to understand, relate to, and give actionable advice on problems that bothered me. I loved going on random adventures with him, meeting new people, traveling etc. We also had a very intense and passionate physical relationship. I did always feel we lacked an 'intelectual' connection, but I was able to fulfill that need with other (intuitive) friends. He helped me with my self confidence (physically, emotionally, and intellectualy). Overall, I'm thankful for the experiences we had together. We ultimately split ways due to his infidelity.
Fast forward a few years, I've casually dated several guys and find myself more attracted (intellectualy) to other NFs and especially NTs. I just find them easiemore enjoyable to talk to. That being said, I'm very thankful for the sensors in my life who keep me grounded and give me practical advice. There are some I can easily talk hours with (my old ESFP bosses ♥️). My mom's an ISTJ and she always knows what to say/ what to ignore when I am going through a tough time. It's easier to just strike up and continue a coherent (to us) convo with my sister (INFJ) and dad (INTJ). I appreciate diversity in my friend group even tho it's mainly NFs and NTs.
I'm decent friends with someone who says he's an ISTJ (I think he's an I/ESFJ). We met off a dating app a year ago. he expressed interest in datimg, and I said i just want to be friends. One year later, he just expressed interest again and... I'm still not really interested lol. I guess I enjoy our time together but I feel kinda bored intellectualy when with him as he's very down to earth and a straight shooter. I often have to force myself to focus when he recounts his day in excruciating detail. He's also rather materialistic (one of the things that bothered me about my ex). I feel like all we have in common is our sexuality (gay dudes), age, and we went to the same college in a different state. I appreciate his ability to calm me down and plan, but I really don't want to waste either of our time dating. I'd rather be single than try and force feelings when there not there.
End rant. Please share your own experiences on dating other types and id love feedback :)
submitted by pwnfulcow to ENFP [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 18:46 mdbuu advice on dating an ESFJ male?

Hi! Just wanted to hear some input regarding an ESFJ I've been talking to.
I am a very true to word, INFJ female, and recently matched with an ESFJ male on hinge. We have only been texting for awhile, as he is currently across the country, and will be coming back in about two weeks. When we first started talking, I actually was the one who initiated the conversation, but since then, he seemed to love to carry the conversation. He has a very traditional sense of gender responsibilities, which shows through when we are talking. He has told me he wants to take care of me, bring me to travel all around the world with him, and many more sweet things, which to be honest, is moving a little fast for me and scares me a little. But I have yet to meet the man, so I don't want to jump into any conclusions, and I'm just taking everything with a grain of salt.
We have been texting everyday since we've matched, but about a two days ago, after our nightly messaging, he hasn't texted me since. I texted him in the middle of the day, just to check in (as he is usually the one that initiates in the morning), and he left me on read late that night. I haven't texted him since, because maybe he is preoccupied with something, or maybe I am just overthinking. But I have never dated or talked to a known ESFJ male, so could I get some input on this please? Should I text him, and just ask him if I did something wrong? Should I give it a couple of more days? How should I proceed?
submitted by mdbuu to ESFJ [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 12:14 BOWSunny How different types eat with their date

ENTJ: Pays for date with top-tier credit card with no limit
ESTJ: Pays for date with premium credit card with basically no limit
ENFJ: Passionately pays for date with normal credit card, limit almost reached.
ESFJ: Passionately pays for date with normal credit card, eats cheaper so doesn't reach limit.
ISTP: Goes out and buy top quality food ingredients, cooks at home for date.
ISFP: Eats popcorn at the cinema with date.
INTP: Hacks into the restaurant's payment system to eat free with date, lets everyone in the restaurant eat free too.
INFP: Eats books at home for dinner with date.
ESTP: Passionately pays for the three SOs at the same time, sometimes the credit card fails him.
ENTP: Debates the responsibility to pay with date, never has to pay.
ESFP: Passionately asks for the date to pay, never has to pay.
ENFP: Leaves the restaurant forgetting to pay, date helps to pay instead.
ISTJ: Pays for date with cash.
ISFJ: Always loses in the argument of who pays for the dinner.
INTJ: Pays for date with premium credit card with basically no limit.
INFJ: Carefully manipulates the date to pay because he forgot to bring money or credit card. Feels very guilty.
submitted by BOWSunny to mbti [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 20:19 NikkiJO28 Dating someone younger

I recently started dating someone who is 5 years younger than me. This is unusual on my part since I’ve never dated someone younger but I quickly became open minded about it. Also, I’m pretty sure he’s ESFJ.
I was just curious if any of y’all had experiences dating anyone younger and what it was like?
submitted by NikkiJO28 to isfp [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 07:26 peachyenna Idk if i'm an INTP or INTJ so I would appreciate your help get ready to listen to my messy story

Hi, so I recently found out about this whole MBTI thing because my best friends (ESTP, ISTP, and ESFJ) FORCED me to take the test. And so I did and got the result saying that I am an INTP. They said it was pretty accurate, but I had A LOT of questions since I don't think I'm that smart; I suck at math and programming.
Also, when it comes to emotions and relationships, I can say that I'm not that bad with it. Before my boyfriend (ENFJ) and I officially got together, he had a crush on me even before I knew him. It took me two years before finally deciding that I really wanted him. So I calculated everything (including my behavior and reactions, so I don't hurt his manly pride) that went on our dates, just to make sure that it goes perfectly fine. Don't get me wrong though, I genuinely like him, and we're doing great right now.
(Side note: I'm not good at math and computer shit but I'm fairly good at reading people and their emotions by observing them. I've gotten so used to this to the point that it's boring me already. I'm good at languages and science as well.)
So I took five other tests from the same website and four tests from a different website to make sure the result I got from the first test was correct. Before I slept, I finally convinced myself and accepted that I am an INTP.
But today, I just woke up and I am starting to question everything again. Can someone please help me understand what an INTP is so I could figure out myself? What do you guys think I am? Sorry in advanced if my post is kinda messy; I just literally typed this as the words ran inside my head. Not as if I grammarly-ed all of this to make sure there isn't a mistake.
submitted by peachyenna to INTP [link] [comments]


2020.10.22 15:19 DittoBurrito123 ENFJ vs ESFJ?

For the longest time I’ve identified with ENFJ 9w1. However, I I’ve always often doubted whether I really am an xNFJ or xSFJ, and there’s a few reasons for that. (Which will probably revolve around the Si vs Ni, and Se vs Ne difference.😊)
Here’s some clues to get started:
1.) I’ve always been really sensitive, empathetic, and having an unconditional love and care for others. My main purpose in life is to make the world a better place, but to also have a happy life for myself and my loved ones.
2.) Ever since I was young, I was extremely good at and interested in practical things. Art, building stuff, etc. (Except sports though cause I found them rather boring.) I also really loved challenging things that challenge my talents and/or intelligence, which is why nowadays I really like complicated puzzles.
3.) I was always praised for my really good memory. My Mother says that it’s annoying how I can remember everything and in good detail too. (Which is why I am so elaborate when explaining things.. Too elaborate sometimes even.) That is, as long as I’m interested in remembering something, or find it useful to remember it. But I remember a whole lot of things, yet am bad at remembering colors, clothes that people wore the other day, and dates and numbers.
4.) Since a young age I was known to “experiment”. Never actually believing what I hear, unless it first makes sense to me how it works and think about the “why”. I learnt a lot of things through trial and error, through experience, and was a little too brave for my own good cause it led to a tough past that I went through. However, that resulted into a lot of Wisdom that I could use to help my loved ones and others, and myself. ❤️☺️ I always used to care about others first and put their needs before my own, but I grew to change that cause it ended up not being healthy for me or those who care about me.
5.) I’m not much of a Leader. Probably because I don’t like being one anymore though, cause I noticed that Leading requires a lot of dirty work, or even lying for it to “work” sometimes. I hate being fake, and I hate lying or manipulation for any reasons. That’s why people find me to be surprisingly blunt at times actually, I like to see and know the truth head-on.
6.) I am known to be a fast learner, and good at solving complicated issues or coming up with a working plan really quickly. (But can also overcomplicate simple issues sometimes. Lol) However, “making sense of something” before I learn it is important to me. Usually I spend a little time in my head to calculate everything of how something is supposed to work, and find the most effective and/or efficient approach, in order to learn something or master it quickly. I think before I act, but not for too long.
And that was it! Lastly, I’ll just comment that most of my friends (and even tests) believe that I am a Fe-dom. 😊 And that in most tests I usually score equal on intuition and sensing. (Probably another sign of ENFJ or ESFJ, due to N and S being right next to eachother.) I am also known to be an Extrovert, because I often prefer having people around me and I feel bad if I go too long without any. 😔
My current best guesses for myself are: ENFJ, ESFJ, ENTP, ISFP. (And maybe INFJ or ISFJ) But I’d like to know what you guys think! ❤️✨
Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you all have a lovely day! 🤗
submitted by DittoBurrito123 to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]


2020.10.20 23:22 ESTPness Your Welcome Bot is Cute/Appreciation Post

Hello, ESFJs 👋 I joined this sub today and I found your welcome bot and its message to be pretty cool (if you don’t know, a bot welcomes new users when they join this sub). I wasn’t planning on posting anything here, but that bot made me feel special LOL so I thought I’d let y’all know.
Since I’m here doing this, might as well take the time to say that my sister is ESFJ and she is an amazing human being. For those curious, she teaches 2nd grade at California School for the Deaf—she is hearing, but has her BA in Deaf Studies, and a Master’s in Education. She is dating an ISTP, and they’ll probably get married someday (I hope so; he’s awesome). I feel incredibly lucky to have her as a younger sister.
Anyway, y’all are great.. just thought you should know :)
submitted by ESTPness to ESFJ [link] [comments]


2020.10.13 16:02 virekkartgod Boo - A Better Way to Date/Make Friends. New App based on MBTI.

Boo - A Better Way to Date/Make Friends. New App based on MBTI.
Hey ESFJs! I'm Derek (ENTJ). A few months ago, my friends and I created an MBTI-based dating/friends app called Boo. Some of you may have already heard of it (and know that our first version was actually barely usable). I wanted to let you know about it because we've made a lot of improvements since then and thought you'd be interested in trying it out.
Like many of us, we're hardcore MBTI lovers and enthusiasts and thought it strange that no MBTI app existed yet. We thought MBTI could fix a few problems with current dating apps.
For one, you are recommended people you’re statistically likely to love and understand effortlessly, instead of being forced to meet every single type of person. Second, you can save time, money, and emotional fatigue you would have spent on bad dates with no chemistry on other dating apps. Third, you can deeply understand each other’s personalities before you meet and in a way that was never possible before. And fourth, get in-depth dating advice and insight into how to attract and get along with anyone.
Boo Telepathy Demo
Many of our users are using the app to make friends and foster deeper, more meaningful connections. We pretty much built this app for people like us, so I'd love to get your feedback on how we can make it better.
The app is completely free to use, with added features like Dating Telepathy that are part of a premium membership (to support our operations).
You can download the app through the Apple App Store and Google Play Store links on our website: https://boo.dating
Thanks! Derek
submitted by virekkartgod to ESFJ [link] [comments]


2020.10.09 19:59 hello-hangul type me from a confused person

Hey guys!
Been confused for a while and am I tired of flip-flopping between those two types so I figured I might as well let the Reddit gods decide my fate.
idk if this will help, but my Enneagram is most likely either 7w6 or 3w2
How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
16 year old female, high school senior pursuing pre-law (but still confused on what life is and having to commit to a career). Found MBTI back in 8th grade and (based on 16personalities) went from ESFJ to ENFP to ENTP. think i'm an ambivert (leaning to extrovert), love languages in quality time, physical, and verbal (lol).
Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
brought up in a conservative and religious Asian household but I am agnostic (once again, super confused on the world) and am very liberal-minded or libertarian (traditional democratic as per the Political Compass test)
What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
Still a full time student (and probably going to be so for the next 7 years). Personally, I love learning about new things in most (if not all) subjects. Just learning more about the world and how it works is so fascinating. (I don't know if this is important but I have also always been a high-performer in school without trying much).
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
To be honest, I'd kind of feel lonely. Not to rant, but I often get very down if I do not talk to people (the quarantine right now sucks for that reason in particular). I often need to be chatting with people so unless I was in a mood for some "alone" time and binge a show, I'd feel every lonely and down.
What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I am very much an indoors person (don't really like going outside unless it's to meet with people). Activities/hobbies often change a lot (passionate about one thing for a while before liking another) but usually they include binging almost any show (usually more action/animated or crime/mystery), reading, writing, drawing, composing music, dancing, etc. Not a sports person.
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I think a better question is what am I not curious about LMAO. Honestly, anything can send me down a rabbit hole of internet surfing. It honestly (once again) depends on what I am interested in at the moment. Right now, politics is really interesting due to the election going on in the US (which is where I am), so a lot of reading about the government, political stances, etc. I usually do have more ideas than I can execute (i have left and still do leave many projects unfinished despite wanting to finish them; once again, once the passion wears off, I stop). Usually my ideas about things are conceptual (ex. what if this or that).
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I do not think I love leadership positions but I do often end up having to be the dominant person in most things. In group discussions, I'm usually the one leading the conversation. When doing chores around the house, I prefer it if I can do it on my own, the way I want rather than the way I'm supposed to. I think like most people I'd like to think that I am a good leader in that I can include everyone in the project/task and I can finish things effectively and (often) better than asked.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I am artistic! I love to draw and write, often implementing or daydreaming the worlds I created into reality. In particular (and this might sound weird) but I love acting as if I were my characters, often to create new scenes in my stories.
What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I have found that I really love thinking about the future and what will be instead of focusing on the present (often leads to me procrastinating so there's that).
How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I usually am ready to help anyone when they need it (once again, I more-or-less depend on human interaction to not feel sad). I help them because they need it and also it lowkey makes me feel as though I've done something good with my skills/intelligence.
Do you need logical consistency in your life?
I do value logical consistency in my life but sometimes I do lack it. It's what made me doubt my diagnosis as an ENTP. I do love looking at things objectively and logically (to the point where many people close in my life have called me psychopathic or robotic). However, when things aren't going the way I want or when people close to me have opposing beliefs that I believe are wrong, I can become excessively emotional or illogical in trying to convince them otherwise.
How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Efficiency and productivity are both very important to me (hard to achieve, but that's something else). If I feel as though I wasn't productive, I often beat myself up mentally for "wasting time" (one of the reasons why I jampack my schedule to excessive levels). Efficiency is also important to me since I again don't like wasting time but I think I am often not very effective as someone who loves to jump in between tasks.
Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
Yeah, probably. I don't think I do it well, but I can use someone's emotions and morals against them in order to get what I want (have done it many times).
What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
Kinda weird learning style. I take notes on things and I just remember them. I hear lectures with pictures (very much a visual learner) and I just retain the information. I've never traditionally studied (except maybe for some memorization-based classes like Biology). When answering questions, seeing the question kind of triggers a recall mechanism in my brain where I just remember key terms and their connections and I can correctly answer. I definitely prefer, for that reason, classes based on theory and/or logic, since I can formulate my answer better without having to memorize what is required.
How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I am good at breaking projects up into manageable tasks but I do still "wing" projects. For example, if I had an essay/paper due, I'd break up researching, outlining, writing, and editing the essay for different days. However, I might end up doing them all at the same time or doing one task in the beginning, forgetting about it, and then finishing the task much later.
What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I want a well-paying and well-respected career that I will always be interested in (ie. never get bored off). Personally, I want to have a work-life balance that keeps me excited and never drained. I would love to have a partner (kinda sad about that now, especially because we're all stuck inside and I can't meet friends, much else date) and a close knit group of friends. I don't think I have many specific goals in life personally, just be happy and content.
What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I think my biggest (abstract) fear is that all my friends and family members actually don't like me and are just pretending that they do. Another fear I guess is being on the "wrong side of history" so as to speak. That is, to be so wrong in my thoughts that I am hurting other people. I am often uncomfortable with the feeling that I am actually not anyone's friend and that I don't have friends (despite knowing almost all of my class). I also lowkey hate it when I see my friends hang out without me, even when it was impossible for me to have joined in. I also have a fear of being stuck in an abusive relationship without knowing that I am in one, and just being stuck in it. More physically, I guess, I hate needles and don't really like blood from wounds as well as the usual suspicion of men around them most women have (do with that what you want).
What do the "highs" in your life look like?
Highs usually include me spending time with my friends, my schedule being packed with things I want to do, and me being at peace with the journey I am on in life (ie. not doubting my path).
What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Lows in my lifes usually look like right now lol. Not being able to talk to or see anyone because everyone is busy, not feeling productive because I don't want to do my work (ie. procrastinating), and being unsure of whether I really want to do what I want to do.
Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
Oh god, I think I'd go crazy. Yeah, no I always need human stimulation, be it in the form of actual people, listening to videos of people talking, or just daydreaming of scenes/characters.
How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Usually decisions are split-second ones, but I contemplate on them constantly, sometime shifting small details in my view, sometimes shifting the whole view. And, yes, I definitely flip between whether my decision was right or wrong after I've made my mind.
How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
To be completely honest, I do not understand my own emotions. My emotions are often bottled up before they burst or I have mood swings really quick. My emotional outbursts are another reason I was a bit wary of my ENTP diagnosis because ENTPs aren't usually described as being emotional. I think, for me, it's just that I don't know what I feel and what to do to change my mood (ie. my emotions are completely out of my control),
Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Usually not? I think conversations are more interesting when you discuss different views, not when you're just talking about one? I might only agree with a person just to appease them if I am trying to find out something else about the person, and trying to progress the conversation to that point. But usually I never play peacemaker (my stubbornness and my flair for discussing/arguing is something most people note about me actually).
Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
Hmmm. I don't think I break rules often? But, I do challenge authority often, usually in a playful manner (just ask my parents haha, they had to deal with me for 16 years). I think, growing up in an Asian household, the biggest thing I hated was the hierarchy of older people having to be shown more respect for their age, rather than respect being something that is earned. I don't think I break rules often in that I am not a delinquent. I usually only go against the norm when it comes to family expectations, not with school or friend groups.

Personally, after reading about cognitive functions I think I'm an ENTP (but I think I could be an INFJ or ENFP)... really doubt that I am a xSxx
My doubt as to my ENTPness comes from the fact that I can see myself with dominant Ni and inferior Se as much as I can see myself with a dominant Ne and inferior SI
Well, that was a long post haha. Hopefully, this can help you guys shed some light on my MBTI (maybe even confirm my enneagram). If you need any more clarification, please just ask, I'd be happy to answer most (if not all) your questions!
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2020.10.05 09:28 oqowa How do I get over the breakup I initiated myself?

Hey guys, I finally broke up with this ESFJ girl that I have been dating for 3-4 months (I know it’s not a long period) (I have tried to break up with her two times before). But I feel guilty. I wasn’t feeling much guilty at the beginning because I basically ghosted her and she wasn’t texting/calling me either. But that lasted only for 2-3 days. Soon she called me and I started panicking so I didn’t pick it up and told her that I can’t talk right now. She started texting me asking “so you really can dump me like garbage?” or “you really gonna delete me from your life like nothing?” and things like that and we started texting and then I agreed to talk to her on the phone (God, I probably shouldn’t have done that). Basically the whole conversation was: 1) me failing to explain that we shouldn’t be together simply because our personalities do not match 2) her asking me to bring specific examples when I felt like we don’t match, and her telling me that she is willing to change and willing to be the way I want. And during the whole phone conversation, she would sound super sad, super dramatic, the words she said would really make me guilty, almost would make me cry. The whole conversation lasted for an hour. At the end she said “but I love you” and then I hung up, because I felt so bad, so hard. Now since that day, sometimes her name shows up on my facebook and I think of her, I start overthinking everything and thinking like “did I break her heart? Am I a bad person? Did I make a right decision breaking up with her?” I keep kinda doubting myself. But I wasn’t feeling this way until she called me and made me feel guilty. So what do you guys think? What would you recommend? P.S. sorry for the bad grammar and syntax:) I really don’t have time to type carefully:)
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2020.10.05 00:28 sosyncd New podcast about personality type dating from the So Syncd dating app

Hi! Hope everyone is well. It’s Jess (INFP) and Lou (ESFJ) here again from the So Syncd personality type dating app. Things have been going well - we are growing quickly and over 150 couples have now found each other through So Syncd!
We have recently started a podcast called Personality Love Lab, which is a series of interviews with real couples of different personality types. We have just interviewed Andy McNab (ex-special forces hero, functioning psychopath and best-selling author) and his wife, Lily. The episode before featured an INFJ-ENFJ couple who met through our app.
Anyway, we thought it was very relevant to this subreddit! The podcast is available on Spotify, Google Podcasts and Apple Podcasts. Here are the links:
Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/personality-love-lab/id1521333665
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/56ODbsOfmbxDe4mYo4mDQt?si=ptT42-RaQ-GYJD4eGCiUEw
Personality Love Lab website: https://www.personalitylovelab.com/
So Syncd website: https://www.sosyncd.com
Hope you find it interesting.
Jess and Lou x
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